The 2011 Multicultural Leadership School

Connection. Celebration. Love. If I was asked to select three words to describe my experience at this summer’s Multicultural Leadership School, those ones would be at the top of the list. Although I had been told the experience would be a transformative one, I had no idea how accurate that description would be. The opportunity to engage in meaningful dialogue and leadership development activities was not unexpected, as the program was a leadership initiative hosted by the Unitarian Universalist Association. But what came as an overwhelmingly pleasant surprise was the immediate and powerful sense of community that permeated throughout the entire experience. We were a dozen youths and young adults from vastly different parts of the country, including Seattle, Los Angeles, Boston, and Birmingham. We had never met each other before (save for one or two exceptions), and many of us were relatively new to the UU faith tradition. But from the moment we sat down for dinner upon our arrival, we forged joyful bonds of love and celebration that remain with us to this day (seriously, our Facebook group is pretty fabulous). The community we created in those short four-and-a-half days was more open and accepting than any in which I had ever participated, with an energy unrivaled by even the most sugar-saturated kindergarteners. Though our time together was brief, our growth as a group and as individuals has had a lasting impact on our lives, which we proudly share with others as we embark on our own unique, but forever connected journeys.

A Celebration of Difference

As a Multicultural Leadership School, one of the greatest strengths of the program was its celebration of difference and diversity. Our celebration began on the very first night, when we each shared an item of importance to us during our opening worship. An incredible variety of dreams, talents, and histories came out of the stories told that evening, some painful, some humorous, but all beautiful. Our love for each others' journeys continued to show as we filled our “basket of community gifts” with expectations of joy, respect, and honesty.  Our group had come together because of our uncommon backgrounds, and in a paradoxical way, our differences united us. While we all identified as Unitarian Universalist in some way or another, there was a deep understanding that we each had unique and equally valid experiences that helped to define our individual identities. All of us came into the program with a perception of our selves and how we were viewed in our respective communities. Through different activities involving pipe cleaners, crayons, and enthusiastically animated videos, we were able to better connect with our identities, and celebrate our strengths. As each of us shared the complexity and beauty of our individuality with the group, an overwhelming feeling of love spread throughout the room. We were in a safe space, where all that we were and hoped to be was celebrated and respected. We learned to recognize diversity in new ways, and were reminded of the importance of emotional validation and appreciation. Compassionate listening and heartfelt sharing strengthened our bonds, and promoted a flow of ideas that could have sustained weeks of learning. Through our deep connections with one another, we quickly recognized the ways in which each attendee strengthened our group dynamic, and eagerly shared our personal experiences to encourage mutual growth.

A Vision for the Future

Every individual in attendance at this year’s MLS was a leader in their community and congregation. Everyone in the room was already working towards a better future for Unitarian Universalism, society, and the world. As the future of our living tradition and ever-evolving faith community, we all shared a vision for change, and had chosen to attend the MLS as a means of helping us on the way to realizing that vision. Beyond learning skills and strategies that would allow us to serve as more effective leaders, we were given a special opportunity to learn from the experiences of current UUA leaders. From the onset of our program, our three facilitators exuded extraordinary passion for their work and a deep appreciation for our presence. They shared with us their experiences as Unitarian Universalists of color, inspiring us with the genuineness of their joys, hardships, and hopes. Their sincere desire to hear from us as attendees was equally, if not more moving- they respected the significance of our experiences too. Thanks to our facilitators’ appreciation of our beauty, a theme emerged when we were approximately halfway through our program- we recognized ourselves as being “fabulous, awesome, and terrific”. Although those words were initially intended to help designate groups for a conflict-resolution activity, the twelve of us ran with the idea and were proud to call ourselves…FAT. We celebrated ourselves and each other, our abilities and our potential, our uniqueness and our community. Using our love for one another, we turned a tiny, three-letter word into a beautiful expression of strength and joy- we were FAT!  It is impossible to not feel deeply connected after sharing so much love.

As current and future leaders, we were also blessed with the opportunity to meet individuals whose work at the UUA honored the diversity and celebration inherent in our living tradition. We connected with UUA leaders who had witnessed our faith tradition work through culturally-inattentive periods in its recent history, and who had fought for a greater adherence to our principles. All of those whom we met expressed a sincere appreciation for our presence, and a hope that we would bring sustainable change to our faith and its appreciation of diversity. Their energy and passion was an inspiration for all of us, and their honest responses to our difficult questions were refreshing reminders of our ability to make a difference. We were able to speak with Kay Montgomery, who possessed a seemingly infinite knowledge of the UUA and enthusiasm for the social justice work achieved by each of its presidents. Her visit to our group moved one attendee so much that she specifically requested to shake her hand as she prepared to leave. She got a hug. We later had a surprise visit from Gini Courter, who had an unmatched ability to know something or someone in each of our congregations. Her humor and magnetism made her an instant celebrity, and prompted a lineup of individuals who wanted a picture with her. She was also rocking a pretty fabulous Star Wars cap. Our final visitor was Peter Morales, who, although he had just been convicted of a misdemeanor for protesting Arizona’s immigration laws, was incredibly receptive to our questions about the UU faith tradition and the UUA as an organization. When asked how he would describe Unitarian Universalism to someone inquiring about our beliefs, he offered this beautiful sentence as part of his response: “What we love is more important than what we believe.” You can’t make this stuff up.

But wait, there’s more. As part of our program experience, we were able to take a tour of the UUA offices, both at the 25 Beacon Street and Beacon Press buildings. Along our way, we met with people who worked in vastly different capacities, but all with the same mission- to help our faith community grow. We met individuals who managed business elements, including employee health coverage (spiritual well-being is that much easier to pursue if you don’t have a cold). We learned about the work being done to increase our capacity for campus ministry, and new opportunities to involve youths and young adults in the UUA decision-making process. We met staff members who worked on publications targeted at improving our appreciation of diversity, and individuals who had spent countless hours working on the Tapestry of Faith initiative (ask them about the “cults” section). Regardless of the specifics of their positions, every person we met was genuinely happy to entertain us and our questions. Each moment presented an exceptional opportunity to see and celebrate the organizational elements of our faith tradition, to help us develop our vision of the future as current change leaders.

An Experience to Share

If you were to visit our Facebook group, you would find a string of comments and notes expressing lamentation about missing our 2011 MLS cohort. Those few days together were filled with so much joy and love, it is no wonder we want to revisit them. But on the page you would also see us discussing our plans for growth and multicultural programming across the country. So even though a reunion may be necessary for another late-night round of “Apple to Apples”, it does not mean we cannot find that same amount of love and joy wherever our journeys take us. We have been given the opportunity, dare I say the responsibility, to share our experiences, knowledge, and passion with our respective congregations and communities. We did not leave that inspiring community of beautifully diverse and energetic Unitarian Universalists behind. We brought it home with us, so that we may share with others our immeasurable potential for connection, celebration, and love.

(Photo by D. Askew)

Keep climbing.

Though the mountain is high, 

            keep climbing.

Though the terrain is treacherous,

keep climbing.

Though the journey seems circuitous,

            keep climbing.

Though your energy and faith are waning,

keep climbing.

Though it seems you will never stop climbing,

            keep climbing.

Though you think you are alone and unsupported,

            keep climbing.

At the peak of the mountain is a new connection.

            Keep climbing.

At the peak of the mountain is a beautiful view.

            Keep climbing.

At the peak of the mountain is fresh breath.

            Keep climbing.

At the peak of the mountain is totality.

            Keep climbing.

At the peak of the mountain is love.

            Keep climbing.

At the peak of the mountain is a clear view of your path home.

Ramadan: A Month of Compassion and Connection

I first began fasting when I was in elementary school, around the fourth grade. I was so excited to be considered old enough to participate, to wake up in the morning and have a huge breakfast with my family. The evenings were just as exciting, since my parents always made sure we had something delicious to eat when we broke fast. During the day, I was proud of my ability to keep from eating while all my friends had their tater tots and pizza. It was hard as a child to have the resolve to refrain from eating, and sometimes I couldn’t stand to remain in the cafeteria. But even then, I knew what I was doing was important, although I did not yet know why. I wanted to be a good Muslim, and this practice was necessary for me to achieve that goal. I have a distinct memory of a cupcake party at school, during which I forgot I was fasting and ate some treats. Halfway through, I realized my mistake and ran to the bathroom crying. I thought I had made God mad with my mistake, that I had failed at fasting. I rinsed out my mouth and vowed never to accidently break my fast again. To help make sure I avoided another accidental meal, I developed a new strategy. I wore my headgear to school so that if I was going to eat something, I would have to consciously remove the pink strap, unhook the metal wiring from my teeth. Apparently, I had espoused elements of mindfulness and hadn’t yet realized it. Kids are smart.

As I grew older, I started to harbor dislike for the month of fasting. High school was particularly tough, mainly because they had french fries available for a dollar at lunchtime. I had my doubts about some of the beliefs preached by Islam, and found myself feeling less inclined to follow its required practices. As I began to distance myself from Islam, I also distanced myself from the observation of Ramadan, to the point where I stopped altogether. Why should I go without food if I no longer followed the faith that requires me to do so? It seemed pointless to me, and so I gladly used my newfound "religious freedom" as an excuse to eat during that holy month. For me, the fast was an obligation and a burden, which triggered feelings of annoyance and contempt, and I no longer saw any use to it. During college, I began to feel as though I had lost sense of my identity, and so I tried to reconnect with the Islamic faith. I read the Qur’an, and made a half-hearted attempt to observe Ramadan once more. My motives were unclear, and thus my fast remained a chore, which I only partially completed. I convinced myself that “I’ll stay away from everything except coffee, and that’ll be ok.” I was still missing the point- I was still missing an opportunity.

So now, in my wiser and slightly more mature 25-year-old state, I have come to a realization that is long overdue. I do not need to fast during Ramadan- I want to fast during Ramadan. The sense of obligation that had accompanied my previous fasts had prevented me from seeing the beauty behind the behavior. Ramadan is not about giving up food- it is about gaining love, peace, and compassion. It is about finding connections you may have never before noticed, between yourself, other beings, and the Divine. It is about discovering your strength and power, and how to use them to help those who are experiencing misfortunate and suffering. Ramadan is about recognizing our blessings, celebrating the miracle that is life, and bringing joy to the lives of others. It is not a month to be dreaded or filled with complaints about a gurgling stomach (which I must admit, I’ve said my share). We should look forward to this month as an opportunity to learn, reflect, and connect. Ramadan is a gift- a chance to recognize our inherently compassionate and joyful nature.

Before I continue with this post, I want to include a brief disclaimer. Ramadan is recognized as a holy month because it acknowledges the period when the Qur’an was revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). It is believed that during this month, the angel Gabriel came down to Earth and revealed the word of God to Muhammad (peace be upon him), words which are now known as the Qur’an. Regardless of whether or not you find this story to hold any truth, the lessons of Ramadan as it is observed today are still universal. What I present to you are my reasons for observing this month, independent of the mythology behind it.

Ramadan: Core Practices

Ramadan is a time to express compassion in all aspects of our lives. It is an opportunity to practice peace and connect to others in new and loving ways. It is a month of reflection, during which we can learn how to respect and embrace the Divine, however we conceptualize it. These values, which are core to the Islamic religion as a whole, can be personally affirmed by observing the many rituals of Ramadan. The ritual of fasting, perhaps the most commonly known one, allows us to connect to those whose needs we may have never before understood. It allows us to connect to ourselves, and focus on aspects of our lives which we have previously neglected. The practice of regular prayer allows us to connect to the Divine, and open our hearts to wisdom, compassion, and love. Many Muslims also use this month as a time to read through the entire Qur’an, a practice which creates an opportunity for reflection and further connection to the Divine. Ramadan is also a time when observers are asked to refrain from arguments and violence, and instead focus their energy on creating meaningful and caring interactions. Whatever our personal beliefs, these rituals can serve as powerful inspiration for pursuing practices that espouse those values we hold close to our hearts.

Compassion for the Hungry

We’ve all heard it before- it is difficult to truly appreciate what you have until it is gone. Many of us take for granted the fact that we have food on our table at every meal, oftentimes more than we can consume in one sitting. Sometimes that food is thrown away, but we think little of it because, “heck, there’s more where that came from.” But that is not the case for everyone. For many others, their food supply is not plentiful- it is not even sufficient. It’s no secret that there is a growing hunger crisis, and that every nation, wealthy or poor, has citizens who have limited or no access to food. There are people all around the world who go days without eating, and the sad truth is that many of them are children. Without an adequate food source, these men, women, and children, our fellow human beings, are forced to consume whatever is made available to them, or else starve to death. Some find enough to keep themselves alive, but it is still not enough to keep them physically or mentally healthy. They can survive, but they remain hungry, malnourished, and uncertain as to the date of their next meal. Their physical state leaves them more susceptible to disease, and the food insecurity they face can wreak havoc on their will to survive. Unfortunately, many others are less fortunate in their search for food, and are unable to find enough to sustain them. It’s easy to forget that thousands of people all over the world die every day as a result of having nothing to eat.

By fasting during the month of Ramadan, we learn to appreciate the plight of our brothers and sisters who have little or no food available to them. By refraining from consuming food or drink while continuing on with our daily lives, we can begin to understand the challenges faced by those whose lives include a daily struggle to feed themselves. The experience of not being able to drink water during the hot summer months, of not being able to eat while witnessing others’ food consumption brings us a small step closer to grasping the reality of the hungry. Each and every time we break our fast at sunset, we should express thanks for the blessing of having an ample food supply. Our basic nutritional needs are easily met, and we do not need to constantly worry about whether or not our family will be fed.  By temporarily placing ourselves in the shoes of the hungry, we begin to realize that any suffering we may encounter during our fast is experienced at least tenfold by those whose starvation is beyond their control. We recognize that while our days of deprivation are voluntary and impermanent, those of the hungry are forced upon them with potentially no end. It is through this understanding that our compassion for the hungry is strengthened, and our desire to end their suffering is kindled. Through fasting, we are able to develop a deeper connection to those people whom we may have never before understood, and begin to realize that any violation of their rights is a violation of our own. Through fasting, we realize that starvation in a world where food is plentiful is an affront to basic human dignity. Through fasting, we learn that something must be done to address this egregious violation of human rights, and can begin to use our power and resources to bring an end to hunger.

Compassion for All Beings

During Ramadan, we are asked to refrain from fighting, both physical and verbal. I don’t know about everyone else, but I personally find the idea of holding my tongue infinitely harder than waiting until sunset to eat. We are passionate beings, with fiery emotions and opinions that we sometimes feel we cannot control. But we are also compassionate beings, with a strong desire to be happy and make others feel good. Think about those moments when you insulted someone you cared about, or got in a physical altercation with someone who disagreed with you. How many of those events were followed by a surge of regret? Yes, there may be an initial feeling of satisfaction in expressing our anger, but in the end, we can recognize that we have done nothing to improve the situation- all we have done is cause more pain. Now think about those moments when you took the time to listen to someone with a different opinion, had an engaging conversation, and calmly came to an understanding. Felt better right? You had a chance to connect with someone, to have an open communication in which all involved parties were able to learn something new. Ramadan presents a wonderful opportunity to reconnect with our compassionate selves, with our desires to communicate, connect, and cooperate. If we spend this month taking the time to react calmly to perceived conflicts, we can develop our ability to listen during all of the other months of the year. By refraining from fighting, we can come to realize how good it feels to be at peace, and how we can use our interactions to bring peace to others.

When we combine our appreciation of peaceful interaction with our stronger connection to the hungry, we can fully embrace the principle of giving to those in need. One of the five pillars of Islam is based in charitable giving, a practice that is given greater value during Ramadan. During this month, we are asked to give to those who are less fortunate, whether it is by donating money to an established organization, providing food to the hungry, or opening our doors to offer temporary shelter to the homeless. However we choose to help those in need, our actions should not be motivated by pity, but rather by love and respect. When we witness others who are suffering, we should want to help them because they are beings who deserve to feel joy. When we show love for others, we can learn from our interactions, understand their stories, and develop greater respect for their experiences. This brings about a stronger sense of connection and helps us understand that when we acknowledge our ability to help bring an end to another’s suffering, we will bring joy to all, not just to a single individual. Think about it- when you give someone something with no expectation of return, how do you feel? Good right? Great even? When we give, both the giver and recipient experience joy, which has the power to influence our interactions with others outside the exchange. When we give, we make the world a happier place, a more peaceful place. Ramadan lets us recognize the power we have to bring this change in our daily interactions, by encouraging us to make these compassionate connections.

Compassion for the Self

Our bodies are always hard at work, whether we are in a deep sleep or participating in a triathlon.  The food and drink we consume throughout the day serve as the fuel our body uses to keep running- the “cleaner” the fuel, the better we operate. Taking this car-and-engine metaphor to the brink of your tolerance, we need to make sure we make choices that will prevent our bodies from stalling. Ramadan gives us an opportunity to adopt practices that help our bodies, and our environment, stay healthy and strong.  Even though we are abstaining from food or drink for most of the day, if we are intentional and aware of our dietary selections, we will not feel as though we are running on empty. By taking this month to integrate mindful consumption practices into our diet, we can become more aware of the food we are consuming, and understand more about where it came from and at what price. We can learn to avoid the temptation to eat as much as we can between sunset and sunrise (it’s not an excuse to eat three slices of cheesecake), and instead focus on consuming only what is good for us and for our world. In observing a healthful fast, we develop an appreciation for the ways in which we are connected to the Earth, and adopt mindful practices that we learn to maintain throughout the whole year.

Upon breaking fast, we are given an opportunity to make a conscious selection regarding what we consume. Whatever we choose to eat, that is the first food our body has had for hours, and will set the stage for our body’s revitalization. Traditionally, the fast is broken with a date. For many in the Middle East, the date is an easily obtainable food, and is ubiquitous in Arabic culture. It is a highly nutritious selection, which provides a healthy boost for bodies that have been denied edible nourishment. So how is the practice of breaking fast with a date an example of mindful consumption? The selection of dates is a healthy way to start our meal- both physically and environmentally. Being rich in simple sugars and fiber, dates are a powerful source of caloric energy that quickly get our engine running at full capacity once more. And because dates are a naturally occurring staple in the region, consuming them is quite the green practice, presenting little to no strain on the Earth. It is a conscious selection that connects us to our planet’s natural patterns and rhythms, and allows for an efficient and undisruptive use of surrounding resources. Such a healthy start, for both ourselves and the environment, can be a cue to motivate us as we continue to make conscious selections for the rest of what we eat. Of course, dates are not as easy to obtain in other parts of the world, but conceptually they can provide us with the inspiration to make food selections that are personally beneficial and universally sustainable.

Our minds and spirits need some compassion too, and Ramadan gives us an opportunity to make sure they get it. By shifting us away from practices focused on food and fighting, and encouraging rituals that help us to reflect and connect, Ramadan allows us to learn about ourselves and what is truly important to us. During this month, we can take time to pause and get in touch with the values that we hold dear, and evaluate how we currently, or perhaps could better, live them out. It is not meant to be a period of self-judging, but of self-recognition, when we contemplate the question “What do I really care about?” When we come to a clearer understanding of what it is we stand for, we become more capable of expressing genuine love and compassion, for both ourselves and others. When we can recognize the values we most cherish, we can adopt practices and pursue activities that enable us to live them out, and nourish our spirit. By connecting to our selves, we learn to identify those behaviors and thoughts that bring us suffering, and can find ways to counter or remove them. Ramadan presents us with a chance to distance ourselves from superficial concerns, and become more aware of our deeper spiritual interests.

Connection with the Divine

I would be remiss if I did not speak to the ritual of reading the Qur’an during the month of Ramadan. In reading this holy book, many feel a greater sense of connection to the Divine, and reach new heights of understanding in their faith. In reading the Qur’an with a true desire to learn, observers can recognize how their lives are regularly touched by Divine love and compassion. Understood to be the word of God, the Qur’an allows practicing Muslims to have a direct understanding of what is good and holy in the world. This understanding is deepened by the emphasis on regular prayer that occurs during Ramadan, which provides a means of communicating with the Divine, and feeling comforted by its influence. By taking just a few minutes every day to focus solely on reaching out to the Divine, Muslims are able to recognize its blessings, and universal presence within all existence.

We do not have to be follow the Islamic faith to achieve this same sense of connection to the Divine. The beauty of the Divine is that it can be found in every particle of existence, and that we can connect to it in the manner that best fits our own personal values. We can read holy texts, we can sit in quiet meditation, or we can participate in a ritual dance. There is no single correct way to connect with the Divine- it is both within and all around us. Ramadan encourages us to reach out to and embrace the greater force that is behind existence, whether we view it as a deity, pure energy, or another unknown beautiful mystery. By connecting to the Divine and understanding its elementary peaceful nature, we can reach a state of pure contentment. By connecting with the Divine, we can better recognize the beauty that is life, and live up to our potential as loving and compassionate beings.