Turn

Thousands of police officers turned their backs to Mayor de Blasio at today's funeral for Officer Ramos. Their actions turned a moment of mourning and shared pain into a show of hostility and politicization. In a moment where understanding and dialogue could begin, where hearts and minds could be opened to the reality of the evil that has all of us, ALL of us, in its grasp, they literally turned their backs to an invitation to begin working together. 

Despite the disappointment that a moment of remembrance has been turned into one of sensationalized anger, I will not demonize the individuals who made the decision to turn away. I do not condone their actions, the misguided logic behind them, or the hypocrisy of asking for no protests in the days before the funeral while engaging in a protest at the funeral itself. But the need to release the pain, anger, shock, fear, loss, and lack of control - that, I fully support. The need to feel safe, to live in a world where lives are not at risk, where systems and leaders do not appear to be stacked against you but in support of your needs, where the value of one's life and work is recognized by all, to simply be heard and seen as human - that I fully support. It is why thousands upon thousands upon thousands have marched in the streets, shut down malls, trains, and airports, held vigils and prayer services, and met with those presently in power to lift up the voices silenced for far too long. It is why we cannot stop, because the forces that keep all of us fighting one another will continue to have us killing each other if we do not turn to see them, to face them head on together. It is why we too mourn for and alongside with the families who have been forever changed by a loved one's murder.

The violent loss of life serves no purpose in this world except to destroy it. The deaths of Officers Ramos and Liu are horrible tragedies that were in service to the same monster that claims the lives of black people everywhere. It continues to breed disconnection, hostility, oppression, and violence of all forms with its demonic use of fear. But it does not have to remain that way. We do not have to stay trapped in the structures that cause all of us pain, that deny humanity, that generate suffering and claim lives, that separate us by making us fear each other. We can change the systems we have found ourselves in, systems that we may not have created, but systems that we absolutely have the power to dismantle and replace with ones that no longer find roots in the sin of white supremacy. Those who lived before us built these systems, and it is no doubt a difficult truth to recognize that we live in ways to perpetuate their presence. But there is also hope that comes along with acknowledging this reality in our lives - if people built those systems long ago, than today we, with our greater numbers, knowledge and love, can build something better. If the monster needs us to behave and believe a certain way in order to maintain its survival, we can choose to change in ways that will destroy it once and for all. 

If we choose to turn to one another in moments when our pain, anger, shock, fear, and loss tempts us to turn against each other, we begin to loosen the monster's grasp of our hearts and minds. If we choose to hear and see one another, choose to sit, stand, and lie down next to each other, we can all turn and face together the truths that divide us, control us, and kill the ones we love. If in our sadness and shock we are willing to see the difficult explanations that bring us closer together rather than the easy lies that drive us apart, we will take down those structures that have only destroyed our world, and can create new ones that will heal and rebuild. If, in these moments when we feel no sense of control, we listen for those voices that subvert the controlling norm, we will reclaim our collective power. If we do not turn away but turn towards, we will stop dying and start fully living.